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January 2nd 2012

Unplugged

Written by
Floret

Unplugging over the last week has been amazing. To my embarrassment the first few days were actually quite a struggle. Whenever I felt bored or restless I would habitually migrate over to the computer, hoping to bleed off some of the discomfort by checking in on what others were doing out in the big wide world. In the long stretch of quiet, I realized how much I’ve been looking outside myself for validation, entertainment, inspiration and meaning. Yuck.

 

As the quiet days progressed I could again hear my own voice. Every day it got louder and took up more space, which in turn pushed out all of the other unnecessary chatter and noise. Chris and the kids commented so many times on how much nicer it was that I was present and here rather than on the computer all of the time. How humiliating really.

Instead of checking Twitter and surfing blogs I read a stack of books, journaled, walked for hours with the kids and sewed a pair of curtains. I participated fully in my life.

While technology can be such a gift, it can just as easily become a curse too. I don’t want to be hiding in the bleachers, watching others live extraordinary lives because I’m afraid of looking or feeling foolish. I want to be living full out and as true to myself as possible. Ultimately “the world out there” would have little to no impact on my decisions or direction.

So the question I’m really wrestling with is how I can straddle both worlds without losing myself. How can I be connected without falling into the viscous cycle of comparing and measuring myself against others and always feeling as though I come up short?  How can I be MYSELF fully and completely?

 

On another note, the unexpected flowers did not go to waste.  I had a quiet little photoshoot of my own. Steven was a big help of course : )

13 Comments

  1. Mamawolf on

    Just discovered your blog today. And, I'm so glad I did! Been surfing through your posts and really enjoying them. Your photos are amazing and words wonderful! This post really spoke to me in this moment. I have the same challenges with technology and my relationship with it… so, thank you for your words and your honesty. So, I say "Cheers!" Here's to stepping back and living a little more authentically and in my own center. Thanks for the reminder and the inspiration!

    Reply
  2. Denise on

    So well said. Thank you for posted this. Like many I too can relate. The constant lure of the internet is overwhelming. I'm actually feeling quite relieved to know I am not the only one who while being inspired by many also fall victum of the constant comparasions at times. Part of running this kind of small design business is to blog and to blog means being online. Yet, lately I have run out of steam to do so. There is a clastrohophic feeling that over comes me when I find my head is too crowded with other peoples images and words. But I do have to admit I am filled with delight seeing your gorgeous creations today! For me I now know that stepping back and reengaging with myself is vital. You are true artist! xo Denise

    Reply
  3. Julie on

    Perfect commentary on the internet-I have struggled with this for a while and even made a few new year's resolutions to step away more.

    You have a beautiful space here and those flowers are unbelievable!

    Reply
  4. Anna McClurg on

    I just found your blog and all I have to say is…wow! You hit the nail on the head! I have felt the same as you have written. And you worded it so beautifully. It's so easy to get lost in other people's lives and forget how to live your own life. There definitely needs to be a balance between the internet and really living your own life. I haven't quite learned how to do it yet, but I am trying! I definitely feel better when I disconnect now and then. It is easy for me to get caught up in everyone's beautiful worlds that I get a little depressed about my own at times. That's when I know I need to shut things down a notch and go create something myself. But I also get inspired by others and by seeing what others are doing, it also makes me want to do more myself. So I guess it goes both ways. Anyway, just wanted to pop in and say hello! And also to say that you are so very talented! These are the most beautiful flowers I've seen I think!! Breathtaking!

    Reply
  5. Holly Chapple on

    I Have stumbled upon your blog many times before. I have visited here knowing that we were flower sistah's as friend Amy from Botanical Brouhaha would call it!! Your work is lovely and so truly from the heart. I recognize your type of design it comes from passion and an inherited love of flowers. However this post killed me because it's the song singing in my head. How do I do it all, how do I be passionate about my art, while tending to my family? How do I love this computer and all of the treasures it holds without falling into it's abyss? I am so hungry, so curious, so excited, so passionate about our flower world. I simply can't seem to stop myself. The one thing I have found true is that all of us passionate designers seem to suffer the same fears and concerns. Add the children into the mix and all of those fears heighten!! You are beautiful and your work is beautiful, just keep on doing what you are doing!!! Congrats on your article in Victoria Magazine. I went to sleep reading about you. I thankfully knew to buy the magazine because of the post from Amy at Brouhaha. She is another treasure the internet has brought me!!!

    Reply
  6. tulipa2 on

    If it's any consolation, I missed your post so much so I checked it everyday hoping your absence wasn't a reality. You give me hope, inspiration, joy and liveliness I have not found any where else on this www. In my eyes you live a beautiful, no stunning, authentic life. Thank you so very much for sharing. I wish you the very best in this new year. Signed, long time reader and amateur flower enthusiast 

    Reply
  7. McKenzie Powell on

    Oh boy, I feel ya. I'm trying my best to be efficient while on the web/computer, but it's so hard not to get distracted… no doubt it's difficult when your beautiful blog / arrangements keep me coming back for more! ;) And that one is especially stunning! I'm glad you enjoyed a break.

    Reply
  8. botanical brouhaha on

    Just for the record, you set the standard for being "real and authentic" in my book…you are honest in your posts and have an unbelievable talent for growing, designing and writing. I guess we all struggle with balancing family and our need to express our artistic side. I'm blessed by the beauty you share each day. Glad you took some time to breath and reflect last week :)

    Reply
  9. Chris from California on

    You are as gifted as a writer as you are a floral artist! Balance is the key…Our children keep us in the moment and that helps tremendously! It is difficult to juggle the demands of life as well as pursue our passions. You seem to be accomplishing this beautifully. I can see it in the eyes of your children. They look so happy. You and your husband are providing valuable and rewarding lessons and gifts to them daily. Never doubt the road you are on. Just make sure to get enough rest…

    Reply
  10. Bare Mtn Farm on

    My first thought is, hey when did you get into my head? I totally understand where we all are. It is not easy to fix, change or adjust our feelings. But for me, I am working on balance…both literally and figuratively. I have got to get my health in balance, my balance on my feet (literally), and balance in my thoughts and feelings. The computer/internet is a great source of inspiration and ideas but also a large forum for what others are doing and what I am not. It can be quite daunting and can make me feel very small and insignificant. Balance is required to take the best and leave the rest. Easy said than done. I need to be inspired by the great(you)and do what makes me happy, smile and makes sense. I need to leave the rest that makes me question, what is wrong with me, why can't I and all the other negative thoughts in my head that throw me off balance. Balance…. one moment, one day at a time. Denise

    Reply
  11. Belinda @ Wild Acre on

    I have felt rather similar Erin, have really loved the unplugged few days with friends and family, but unsettled about how much info I soak in from the flickering screen of my mac, and how the immense talent out there can often make me feel rather hopeless. I have decided to attempt a more balanced outlook by taking really small but very practical steps. I have decided to write a small few sentences each day about a moment in that day, however miniscule in order to slow down and savour something of beauty or significance for few minutes each day. And to sit and eat with my clan each day. Whatever it takes to balance the multi tasking and multi-connecting online with calm, engaged moments with the real people and places and events of my real life! Often in those times, the slower, quiet ones, comes reassurance and joy (and inspiration as you said a while ago) – bonus!! Love your honesty and amazed how you could ever feel inferior. Bxxxx

    Reply
  12. growingflowers on

    Oh gosh. Yes. So very well written and honest. I am so there. I am finding myself way too addicted and hating it. I can't get off sometimes. It's a true addiction. Thank you – when you find the answer about how to straddle both world. Please share.
    Sigh. Ok. Now I am going to get off the computer!

    Reply

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