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April 17th 2014

Letting go and trusting

Written by
Floret

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It’s been a crazy couple of weeks around here. So many good things squeezed into each day but I’m finding it pretty hard to stay grounded and clearly focused. Some mornings I just pace around the fields and through the greenhouses, trying to collect myself but instead see another five hundred things that need to be done and start to panic.

Spring, it’s always an emotional roller coaster for me.

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But this year, more than ever, we have an amazing team surrounding our little family and flower operation. I’m still adjusting to having such great support since my shtick has always been “I’m going it alone”. When the to-do list spills onto pages two and three, I still think I’m the one who has to tackle every little thing.

But now there is a team of caring and highly capable folks, catching the important things before they fall through the cracks. The kids, self care, plus all of the business details that need attention.

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We’ve never had it so good.

But it’s tricky to break old patterns. I still find myself winding up into an anxiety ridden panic, forgetting that there are a dozen hands surrounding me, ready to help. Over the years I’ve trained myself so rigidly to not ask for help, to not be a burden and get it all done “no matter what”.

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While Chris and the kids have settled into this new support system, I’m still thrashing around. Trying to learn how to let go and be supported. Last spring it took four months for me to let our office manager take the reigns. Four months! Once I finally let her step in and work her magic, my life was transformed in ways I couldn’t have imagined.

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So, here’s to finally letting go and trusting. Trusting others, trusting universal timing, trusting that I’m right where I need to be and most of all, trusting myself.

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If you’re battling a similar story, I highly recommend this book. The concept is radically transforming my life, in the best possible way!

33 Comments

  1. Lauren on

    Best of luck with your new phase, and YES, Strengthfinder 2.0 is AMAZING!!! I also highly recommend: Transitions by William Bridges…another life changer.

    Reply
  2. Jenny on

    I was wondering how to move forward without losing myself, getting sidetracked and not staying on target is definitely something I have learned I am good at. List are one way to help and ironically enough you stating the importance of asking for help goes back to what learned when I fought cancer…..that receiving is just as important as giving because it does allow me ( who is equally valuable ) to be the best me! Way to go Erin! Remember one day at a time is all we are capable of accomplishing and that is enough!

    Thank you for your continued sharing of your experiences.

    Reply
  3. Viv on

    Oh Erin! I’m so happy to hear you that you are going to get some help on the farm. I was afraid that you were working much too hard. Trying to handle it all is impossible. I’m thrilled to hear of your dream, and if I lived close by–I’d be knocking on your door!! I’m sure you could find something for a lifer of 26 yrs. to do. Keep your support going–it’ll take you as far as you want to go. Spring is so HECTIC. Keep calm—-carry on.

    Reply
  4. martin and the magpie on

    brilliant post Erin….there are obviously a lot of us out there way too busy and working ourselves like crazy..its funny when i’m out of the garden i feel the weight of everything i have to complete to ‘make it work’ but the minute i step through the garden door it all lifts off me and i just plod away and somehow it works out OK….xx Kay

    Reply
  5. Georgianna on

    This is so brilliant, E!! So proud and happy!! Will be back in touch on Monday. Have some good ideas to streamline things. x

    Reply
  6. Leslie Emanuels on

    My husband started his own firm. They test with Strength Finders. He has a partner with very different strengths and now a slew of employees. They are all doing what they do best. My husband has never been happier. They also utilize a business consultant/coach.

    Reply
    • Floret on

      Leslie, I LOVE hearing that. After reading the book, testing everyone we work/collaborate with I now am set on building a company filled with folks who love what they do and only do what they’re good at!

      I’d sure love to know the name of their coach/consultant. I’m on the hunt for one as well.

    • Leslie Emanuels on

      I wish I could help you with a coach rec but I live in Kansas. We are transplants from Seattle. So your blog feeds my love of flowers and the Northwest. I do know a great accountant in Mt. Vernon. My cousin, Mike Fohn, is wonderfully kind and incredibly good at what he does.
      Blessings!

  7. Cindy on

    Erin what timing on your blog. This is the time of year of feeling anxious, stressed, feeling like it can’t all get done. Oddly it was comforting to know that I am not the only one who wanders through my farm looking at all that needs to be done and panicking! Here is to a wonderful season for all of us!

    Reply
  8. Toria on

    I woke up this morning and this is just how I felt, the lists are pages long and my wonderful morning walk around the Plot was becoming swamped with jobs to do and it was so easy to be overwhelmed. I know the universe will provide and if I just stand back a little and relax it all works out. The perfect example is looking out the bedroom window and thinking it is cabbage white butterflies flying past and groaning about the damage they will do, then getting up and realising it is beautiful cherry blossom fluttering on the wind!! Nothing is ever quite as it seems :-) Thanks Erin for your wonderfully honest post and the message of support it sends!

    Reply
    • Floret on

      Ahhh Toria, such a great reminder! Thank you for sharing that.

    • VillageRat on

      Agree with the ‘thanks for sharing that’!!

      Things are not always as they seem and that example is one I can relate to and it helps make the day just a tad brighter with the inner smile you just furnished for me!!

  9. Suzie on

    I can’t tell you how much this resonates with me! I’m just in the throes of starting a new business, while keeping my work as an artist going, looking after family/home etc and you echoed how I feel so well. I really need to learn to delegate a lot more but I’m terrified that things won’t get done my way :)
    Thanks for the link to the book!

    Reply
  10. kim Smith on

    wonderful! so good for you to let go, and trust the helpers.. it is indeed one of my weakest links within myself. I know your anxiety and seeing a million “little” things that need taken care of, all while forgetting that asking for help is a sing of strength, not a weakness. I am still working on this one

    Reply
  11. Janey Pugh on

    You will always be ERIN, the Fabulous! Glad you have some help.

    Reply
  12. Tania on

    I was curious if you’d introduce us to your employees that help you run your farm. I see that you’ve done blogs interviewing other flower farmers but it would be nice to see who else is involved in your farm. Thanks! Love your work!

    Reply
    • Floret on

      That’s a great idea Tania. I’ll do that soon.

  13. Nicole on

    Just the other day, reading your flower focus blogs and seeing beautiful pictures on instagram of al the cut flowers I was wondering how the heck do you manage?! Running a flowerfarm, being a floral designer, blogging, workshops etc and also being a mum of 2. Seemed quite impossible..

    Being a starting floristfarmer (or wannebe) thinking I could never do that. Although I want nothing more then to grow my own flowers and create with them. Only I am afraid that it won’t be possible working the field and growing flowers because of my backproblems. Reading your words of wisdom makes me think that maybe I shouldn’t do it alone, but invest in help and except the way it is, because it’s where I am and that’s okay.. Thanks!

    Reply
    • Floret on

      Nicole, you can so do this! You’ll just have to get creative and what a blessing to have to set up support from the start. I nearly worked myself to death, because I could. You can skip that part and get to the good stuff = the flowers!

  14. Terri on

    I have often wondered how you do all you do… I’m a one-woman operation and when my list hits the 6th and 7th pages I recall a Saturday Night Live skit from before you were even born. I recite my own little flower farmer version of it, and in no time I’m laughing my ass off, and the dogs are laughing, too!

    He’s a link to the transcript: http://snltranscripts.jt.org/75/75fspeed.phtml

    I just ordered Strengths Finder – thanks for the recommendation!

    You are amazing, Erin – what you do for all of us out here is priceless! XO

    Reply
    • Floret on

      Terri, LOVE it! Gosh, it may look like it all gets done from the outside but you surely know the chaos and undone plans behind the scenes ; )

  15. Kirsten on

    I’m right there with you.

    The breaking old habits is particularly tough for me, having heard years and years of ‘You’re not good enough so don’t even bother.” Now I want to bother. Still, that negative self-talk creeps in, despite the years of work and reading and knowing better. It’s a constant battle of strength and wits.

    I’m working at letting go and trusting. The Universe is conspiring with me and I couldn’t be in a more supportive, better place in life. It’s just hard.

    Thanks for this.

    Reply
  16. Sharon on

    Such a timely post for me–divorce after almost 3 decades of marriage, caring for a declining, aging parent, dealing with a systemic arthritis–feeling like I’m a broken down, tattered Lone Ranger. Yesterday I reached out to extended family and friends for emotional support and was completely overwhelmed by their response. Wonder what took me so long!

    Reply
  17. Rachael on

    I can relate to every little thing in this post. My husband is always reminding me to ask him for help when I need it. Ive learned it feels quite nice to complete a task as a team as opposed to standing at the finish line alone. Thanks for sharing, and reminding me Im not alone in this struggle!

    Reply
    • Floret on

      Tom, we’ve got four part time helpers right now (all paid) but will likely go up to five by summer (office manager, field angle, harvester-packer, wedding help and writing/project support), three sets of grandparents stepping in with the kids plus an amazing friend who fly’s in when I teach workshops. No interns of volunteers and no plans of having any in the future. I’m really working on building our “dream team” so we can make the leap to a big farm and expand the business. I want lifers on our team so as the company grows, they come along for the ride.

      You’ve got to get that book I linked to above, Strength Finder 2.0. Read it, take the test, apply the concept and watch how your whole life shifts for the better.

  18. Lindsay on

    Seems to me timing is everything in this business and it could not be more true today in reading your post, I needed to know I am not alone. I am finding that I am struggling more than ever with letting others help me. I guess it is just due to fear that they don’t see or share my “exact” vision for my flower farm. It will get easier I have faith in that.

    Thank you for sharing.

    Respectfully,
    Lindsay

    PS…where could one find the brown paper you use to wrap your bouquets?

    Reply
    • Floret on

      Call Maria Villa at A-Roo and tell her I sent you Tel: 1-830-372-4770
      She’ll hook you up with the brown paper sleeves we use

    • Lindsay on

      Thank you so much Erin! I appreciate it more than you will ever know.

  19. Karen Clodfelter on

    Thank you for making me pause and think, we are just starting our business and my jaw hurts from being tense,
    I will work on letting go.
    Family Flowers of NC

    Reply
  20. Karin on

    Amen… and just when I was thinking of tackling that three page list alone. I am feeling very anxious this Spring and don’t want to waste any time but I know that since it is a new process I am embarking on there will be trials and errors. Thank you for the post friend!! What a great thing to read today.

    Reply
  21. Sophie on

    I love that you shared this Erin. I’m really bad at remembering to ask for (and take) help, and you’re right, it’s just another habit but a hard one to break.

    The thing that really helped me to recognise what I was doing was going to a mindfulness course quite a few years ago, and learning to really see the many choices I had other than trying to do everything and getting stressed about it. And as you say, just trusting that somehow it will just all be fine.

    Now walking round the garden without seeing the zillion things that need doing is another matter – I can’t image what that’s like when you have a whole flower farm :-)

    Reply

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