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February 2nd 2015

This Week On the Farm: Week 6

Written by
Floret

edited week 6It’s been hard to keep up with documenting all that has been happening around our place. For the first time, I’m no longer the one having to keep everything moving forward outside. With Chris home full time now, days pass and I don’t step a foot into the garden. It’s both a relief and cause for concern. My identity has been shaken this winter. Who I was is changing and I’m not quite sure who I’ll end up being after this transition is complete.

edited week 6-4While I’ve never been so free from the physical side of farming, I’m now trapped in a new way. My days are spent buried in mountains of paperwork and projects and never ending lists of to-do’s and should have done’s.  While it’s difficult to not check and balance my progress each day and end up feeling like a failure, there is so much growth happening within these walls. I know things are headed in the right direction and the only way to measure progress is from a distance, not with a magnifying glass.

edited week 6-3I am slowly making a dent in the book. As a child, I was always a tough student. I would plead and argue for new assignments if I couldn’t find inspiration to complete the one I had been assigned, especially when it came to writing. Without inspiration, I couldn’t seem to get a single word down onto paper. My teachers often threw up their hands up in frustration, scolding me that this would be something that’d haunt me down the road. They were right. The few that “got me” would allow for special writing assignments where I  picked the topic and then would dive head first in and really thrive. Letting inspiration lead was always the magic ticket to get the words to flow.

edited week 6-2While the book is about one of my favorite subjects, flowers, I have sat staring at a blank screen for much more time than I like to admit. Everyone but me is understanding of the process. They all knew it would be hard. I think I was the only one who thought I could somehow plow my way through the process, fast enough to not feel the pain. No such luck. Each word has to be coaxed out, slowly and steadily and only kindness is rewarded. I’m having to learn a new way to motivate myself. The whip just doesn’t work like it used to.

edited week 6-5The flowers are quietly growing under their protective domes. With such a mild winter, their growth has gone unchecked since the start of the year. We keep waiting for an arctic front to swoop in and knock things back, but so far, nothing is on the horizon. If things keep up as they are, we’ll be harvesting our first flowers from the hoop houses by months end.

All of the dahlias that we are going to take cuttings from were brought out of the basement and put on heat mats in the greenhouse. The first round of seed trays have been sown too. The propagation greenhouse is starting to feel like spring already!

7 Comments

  1. Viv on

    Erin, if you write your book the way you write your blog it will be amazing!! You let us enter your flower farm and “walk with you”, every time you blog. Just that one statement, “walk with me”,—- and away we go with you on your life’s journey. Just be who you are meant to be, and share all the flower love with us, like you do on the blog. I do understand the feelings of changes. I call it –life zones. We “warp” out of one life zone into another our whole lives. Sometimes smiling, and sometimes crying. Sometimes it’s not easy at all. You’re in a wonderful place right now, don’t forget to just breathe. I’m glad Chris is now available to help–because even the things you love to do,— can get to be too much eventually. Smart girl!! Keep going!!!!! But, do keep your fingers in those flowers, you need that most of all!!!!!!!

    Reply
  2. VillageKid on

    When our beloved businesses get to the point the paperwork and ‘office’ things start to demand much of our time it is especially hard.

    I learned long ago, no matter what, to make it outside and to the ‘fields’, even if it only to take a walk at the end of the day. (If I do it in the early more hours, many times just a tad before sunrise, I find I do not make it back to the office, thus making for a totally frustrating day)

    Things will adjust and you, with your helpers & spouse, will come to some good balance, I am sure of this!!

    Give yourself to concentrate on the new needs and trust you will work through it all.

    Reply
  3. Vivienne Lowe on

    I will be praying for you and your future Flower Book.

    Reply
  4. Angela on

    Thank you, as always for sharing. My partner is currently writing a book. His trick to moving forward is to write every day. Every single day, at least a little. It keeps his head in the game and keeps the flow going. You can and will do it!!

    In this blog post (and the next one) there are these amazing tulips. Hot pink and orange coloring. What variety are those????

    thank you, thank you.

    Reply
  5. Margit Van Schaick on

    Erin, I don’t pretend to know all the answers, yet I’d like to encourage you to be good to yourself—try to sleep enough, eat well, enjoy your family, while you’re in the process of writing the BOOK! For me, the magic words are “I’m in the process of–“—fill in the blank. It removes guilt, shame, pressure of multiple kinds. And, perhaps a daily visit to the garden (hoop houses for now) to see and smell the flowers would be a good idea, too. You’re an excellent writer, you know.

    Reply
  6. Killoran Moore on

    The cherry blossoms here in Victoria are exploding! I’m both pleased and a bit saddened by it. Amy Poehler started her book by advising everyone to never wrote a book because it is crazy hard. I do not envy you, but I look forward to the end result!

    Reply
  7. Shari D on

    I am a writer. It’s everyone’s fantasy to have writing come easily. It doesn’t. I like Anne Lamott’s advice in Bird by Bird (her book on writing) to give yourself permission to write really “shitty first drafts.” It frees you up. Also, opening up a “Negative Thoughts” file alongside your draft is helpful. I learned this technique in a writing class. As soon as you have a less than helpful thought (“I can’t think of anything” “I suck at this” or whatever negative thought your inner critic shoots your way) just write it down in the Negative Thoughts file and go back to your draft. For some reason, dealing with the thought this way clears the mental path. Try it.

    You can do it. And I will buy your book. :)

    Reply

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